The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)

I wanted to share with you a great book that I read recently. Written by David Emerald, The Power of TED is a book drafted in a narrative style, similar to a fable, and it tells the story of a man who has recently gone through many difficult situations in his life. He is having trouble getting out of his hopeless mentality and meets an unexpected stranger who explains to him another way to approach life and how take control of his own outcomes, regardless of circumstances.

I have outlined some of the main concepts that are explained in the book below.

The Dreaded Drama Triangle consists of three roles: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer

Victim: feel powerless and at the mercy of life’s events and may avoid taking responsibility for their actions, finding it easier to blame others or their circumstances

Persecutor: can be either people or conditions (such as a health condition) or a situation (such as a natural disaster) 

Rescuer: look for Victims to save and often are quick to jump in and save the day, believing others will appreciate and value them for their good deeds


‘When you inhabit any of these three roles, you’re reacting to fear of victimhood, loss of control, or loss of purpose. You’re always looking outside yourself, to the people and circumstances of life, for a sense of safety, security, and sanity.’


The TED* Triangle - TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) consists of three roles, Creator, Challenger, and Coach

The Creator is the central role in TED*(*The Empowerment Dynamic), which taps into an inner state of passion. Directed by intention, a Creator is focused on a desired outcome, propelling the person to take action. The role of Creator is the alternative to the drama triangle role of Victim.

A Challenger is focused on learning and growth, holding a Creator accountable while encouraging learning, action, and next steps. A Challenger consciously builds others up, as a positive alternative to putting someone down by
criticizing, blaming, or controlling. The role of Challenger is the alternative to the drama triangle role of Persecutor.

A Coach shows compassion and asks questions to help a Creator develop a vision and action plan. A Coach provides encouragement and support, in place of “rescuing” actions. The role of coach is the alternative to the drama triangle role of Rescuer.


‘Everything can be taken from a (person) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’


Shifts Happen by:

  • Focusing on what we want rather than what we don’t want
  • Moving from reacting to responding to life experiences
  • Reconnecting and focusing on our dreams and desired outcomes

If these concepts sounds intriguing to you, I would definitely recommend you read through the book, which explains each idea clearly and gives practical examples to illustrate how to apply it to real life. Although the ideas themselves are simple, the book has the potential to transform your life if you adopt its proposed approach when facing difficult situations.


Opposites Attract!

People often say that opposites attract. Never has this been truer than for my husband and me. I am ISTJ and he is ENFP. Total opposites in every regard.

overview of the two personality types


We have very different personalities and contrasting approaches to many facets of life. Here are a few examples:


Brain Power
I spend time thinking about upcoming appointments, weekend plans, and making lists for the grocery store. I find the topics that he spends time contemplating overly theoretical and impractical, irrelevant to our lives in the here and now. I focus on the details of everyday life, the things that are most pertinent to us in a more realistic time frame.He spends a lot of time thinking about philosophical ideologies, the existence of extraterrestrial lifeforms, social justice issues, and higher realms of consciousness. He finds it tedious to expend brain power on mundane, everyday tasks when there is so much more that the world has to offer. He focuses on the big picture, with extravagant dreams and visions for the future.
Expressing my thoughts and emotions does not come easily to me. When there is something serious that I want to talk about, I prefer to write an email, spelling out all of the points that I want to make, choosing my words carefully, and making sure I don't leave anything important out. I communicate best when I have time and space to plan my thoughts out accordingly, with no pressure to share until I’m ready. He prefers to dialogue and converse in real time. He is able to express his thoughts and emotions very well verbally. He thinks best and often has epiphanies while speaking out loud. After he reads my email, he promptly picks up the phone (if we're not in the same place), so that he can talk to me about the topic at hand. He is able to articulate himself clearly and effectively through verbal communication.
For me, after the basic, "Where are you from? What do you do?" I'm typically at a loss as to how to proceed and have to try very hard to keep the conversation going. I find small talk extremely taxing and not meaningful, and I don’t enjoy it very much. Once I am comfortable and get to know a person fairly well, I am able to relax and not put as much pressure on myself or the situation. That is when I am able to be myself and open up more. This is where my husband shines. He is charismatic, energetic, and has a genuine interest in learning about other people. He is fascinated with people who are different and similar to himself. Even when others are more reserved, he is able to ask all of the right questions to get them sharing about themselves. He is skilled at thinking on his feet and eliminating awkwardness from any situation.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been academically gifted. Doing well in school and getting good grades comes easily to me, when I willingly put in the effort. I’m a particularly fast test taker and reader, and I do well on standardized tests. I excel in areas such as math and science, but I don’t have a wide array of knowledge or interest in many different topics.My husband is very intelligent and able to grasp concepts easily. However, focus can be hard for him to attain and numbers get mixed up in his mind easily. He requires additional time to complete similar work, but he understands the concepts just as well. He has a basic knowledge of a wide array of topics, and is a self-taught expert in certain topics in which he develops a keen interest.
It can be harder for me to empathize with others on a deeper level. I tend to want to give advice to help solve the problem, rather than share in the feelings they are experiencing. I am able to remain fairly detached emotionally and maintain stability and a calm demeanor. It takes a lot for me to get extremely excited, sad, anxious, etc. He can read people effortlessly. He knows immediately when I have something on my mind that I’m not telling him. He feels other people’s feelings very deeply and is extremely affected by the energy (positive or negative) around him. He gets overwhelmed by emotions easily, through situations or by people that are in his life.
Left vs Right Brained
I think more logically and have a harder time coming up with creative ideas. Most of the time, I like to follow the traditional course of action and don’t tend to think outside of the box. I’m great at following deadlines and planning out schedules for completing projects and tasks. He is a very creative individual and needs to express himself through creative outlets, such as music. He has many different interests and not enough time to devote to all of them. He is constantly challenging the way things currently are and looking for better methods of implementation.


Being married to my opposite is both challenging and rewarding. We clash frequently because our thinking and the ways we express ourselves are so different. However, we also complement each other perfectly. I’m competent in the areas that he is not and vice versa. We also have the opportunity to learn from each other and improve in the areas in which we are lacking. The key to maintaining a happy and fulfilling marriage is communication. We have to constantly make sure we are on the same page about the things going on in our lives. Because we communicate so differently, it’s important to be intentional about making this an integral part of our daily lives. We also share a number of fundamental commonalities, such as finances, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and our senses of humor!   


✿ Katie ✿