I wanted to share with you a great book that I read recently. Written by David Emerald, The Power of TED is a book drafted in a narrative style, similar to a fable, and it tells the story of a man who has recently gone through many difficult situations in his life. He is having trouble getting out of his hopeless mentality and meets an unexpected stranger who explains to him another way to approach life and how take control of his own outcomes, regardless of circumstances.
I have outlined some of the main concepts that are explained in the book below.
Dreaded Drama Triangle
Victim: feel powerless and at the mercy of life’s events and may avoid taking responsibility for their actions, finding it easier to blame others or their circumstances
Persecutor: can be either people or conditions (such as a health condition) or a situation (such as a natural disaster)
Rescuer: look for Victims to save and often are quick to jump in and save the day, believing others will appreciate and value them for their good deeds
‘When you inhabit any of these three roles, you’re reacting to fear of victimhood, loss of control, or loss of purpose. You’re always looking outside yourself, to the people and circumstances of life, for a sense of safety, security, and sanity.’
The Creator is the central role in TED*(*The Empowerment Dynamic), which taps into an inner state of passion. Directed by intention, a Creator is focused on a desired outcome, propelling the person to take action. The role of Creator is the alternative to the drama triangle role of Victim.
A Challenger is focused on learning and growth, holding a Creator accountable while encouraging learning, action, and next steps. A Challenger consciously builds others up, as a positive alternative to putting someone down by criticizing, blaming, or controlling. The role of Challenger is the alternative to the drama triangle role of Persecutor.
A Coach shows compassion and asks questions to help a Creator develop a vision and action plan. A Coach provides encouragement and support, in place of “rescuing” actions. The role of coach is the alternative to the drama triangle role of Rescuer.
‘Everything can be taken from a (person) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’
Shifts Happen by:
- Focusing on what we want rather than what we don’t want
- Moving from reacting to responding to life experiences
- Reconnecting and focusing on our dreams and desired outcomes
If these concepts sounds intriguing to you, I would definitely recommend you read through the book, which explains each idea clearly and gives practical examples to illustrate how to apply it to real life. Although the ideas themselves are simple, the book has the potential to transform your life if you adopt its proposed approach when facing difficult situations.